The Journey

It's been a year since I last posted. I think when I started this blog I expected to be able to write more frequently. Having a full time job, being a mom to 4 boys, and running a house seems to get in the way of things like sitting down and blogging.
Here I am though, it's 10:30pm and while everyone else in the house is sleeping I am sitting on the couch reflecting on life.
So much has changed lately and things will continue to do so. I never knew it was possible to feel so many emotions at once. There are things that make me sad and yet hopeful at the same time. One thing is that my parents sold my childhood home. I am sad to see it go. It's a place where I feel safe and familiar and yet I am excited for my parents to be able to  not have to worry about another property and the financial freedom that the sale will allow them.
Another one of those is my sister in law, brother in law and my nephew have moved to Idaho. I'm sad because we will no longer be a 5 minute drive away and I won't get to experience things like going to my nephew's baseball games or getting together on holidays. However, I am extremely understanding of the desire to move someplace where you have room to breathe, a place that's  safer and cleaner for the kids to grow up. I am excited for them as they begin their new adventure and can't wait for the good things that are in store for them.
There is one more big event that has happened to our family and that is the passing of our Grandma. She died one week before her 91st birthday. The other day I was sweeping the floor and just began to tear up. I miss her so. I miss how she used to call and leave the same message on my voice mail every time she called. (Selena, please call me.) I miss how Evan used to whisper in her ear and ask for a cookie and she used to smile and of course say yes. I miss how she used to read the kids books and when they were little she loved when they crawled up and sat in her lap. I miss watching tv with  her and find myself wanting to watch Lifetime movies in her honor with the volume on the tv up real loud. She just always loved us. All of us. She held all of us together.
There are always things in this life that change. Some change hurts, some change feels uncomfortable and some change is for the better. Even the people in our lives change. Some people leave our lives because they have to, some choose to go, some move on but stay close to your heart. I don't know what the future holds for me but I know that I am extremely blessed and my prayer is that I make a difference the way others have made a difference for me.